Lil changes, Big impact

Recently, I was reading a blog from John Israel regarding letting something little ruin a moment, a trip or anything else this might be applicable to. Think about that.

How often do we, (yes we), let that happen? It made me think back to a Thanksgiving with all of my kiddos. I have always made homemade candy for each of them to take home at Christmas, a tradition that I started when they were younger and left the nest. At Thanksgiving it is pies. (They are slightly spoiled, although getting them to admit it would Never happen!) Each has their favorite, so not only do they get one to take home but I have some for us to share during the Thanksgiving feast.

My oldest, Christy, loves my lemon pie. We are kindred spirits. Both of us feel like a lemon pie should not be sweet. Hello! It is LEMON!!! My oldest son, Gator, and youngest daughter, Taylor, have always loved my Cherry Cheesecake and the youngest son just eats whatever I make. Eric is the easy one. Now, whenever these four get together there are always shenanigans. This day was no different.

It was already an interesting day to begin with. I was in the process of remodeling my kitchen with one tiny issue. My kitchen countertops had not made it in in time to be installed for the holiday and I am the main cook. Cabinets were in but no where to sit a thing. Then it hit me! I tend to be a problem solver so I came up with a solution - Plywood. I would just lay it on top of the cabinets and voila', problem solved! This idea worked great except I only had a small amount of the plywood left over from the build so, as a result, my counter space was really limited. That meant everything had to go onto the table or anywhere else I could set the dishes on.

I always do the pies early on so they can cool down, be refrigerated or whatever needs doing. I tucked them into their respective locations and on to the meal prep. Fast forward to dinner, now. Everyone was sitting around laughing and enjoying each other, eating way too much food and trying to leave room for those pies. (Remember those?)

Turns out, in all of the craziness, I did not make enough of the Cherry Cheesecakes for us to share one, and for Gator and Taylor to take one home. There were only two. Yep...there in lies the issue. The two of them started talking smack, a little tussling happens and the next thing you know the topic of discussion has been flipped over! Now, my son's reaction was amazing. He caught that thing mid air and is now standing there with cherry sauce dripping from between his fingers and off the side of his hands!

While his reaction was great, mine wasn't. I was instantly harsh and had some biting remarks for the both of them in a raised voice. Silence. Complete silence.

My eldest son is standing there looking at me. He calmly reaches over to the table, turns the pie upright in its' former position, smears the cherries and the sauce that is still on his hands all over the top of the pie, then proceeds to scrape his hands on the side of the pie plate to add the last of the stuck on sauce. Immediately he turns around and says, "Look mom, I got caught "red handed!" (pun intended). I looked at him, then at all of the other faces around the table and the expressions on their faces....and we all burst into peals of laughter!
My precious son salvaged that moment. I had let one little thing get under my skin. It could have ruined a great family time, and almost did. Kids teach you so much - even when they are grown. I should have taken a breath and asked myself these things, or at least some of them:

What just happened?
What am I feeling?
What am I thinking?
What am I making this mean?
Is that thought true?
How might the opposite be true?
What’s an empowering meaning I COULD make from this experience?

Not all of those questions are appropriate or applicable in this circumstance. So often we beat ourselves up, which I did later for my reaction, and we tell ourselves that there is going to be a bad outcome. Maybe, like John, it is a dent in your car or another incident that you turn inward and beat yourself up about. Perhaps you were shopping for a house and did not hear what your Realtor was saying, made a bad choice at work or in a relationship and the result was not the best outcome. Stop and ask yourself these questions. Shake it off. "Something"  did happen but was it life altering?

That is the reality... but the other reality is that you Will get through it. Ask yourself what you could take away from the experience. What can I do with it? How can I learn from it? Empower yourself instead of beating yourself up. Sometimes it just means you have to wipe the cherry sauce off and eat the pie...one bite at a time!